I Want It Now!

This video message may or may not resonate with you. If not, just close it before you get heartburn. It is a very thought provoking message by Juan O Savin: Juan O’Savin – A summary of what is going on. – YouTube

If you know who Juan is, then you will understand the message. If not, it is about the Plan of current events. Again, this may not be for you.

The message is simple: have patience and trust God’s Plan. This past week had many folks upset, because certain actions were expected. It wasn’t the right time. Yes, we want it now, but you want everything to be completely finished so we don’t have to ever go through this again. 2020 Deja vu? HORRORS!! Think about the people who have planned this and have dodged bullets and bombs for the last 20-60 years. You can damn well bet they want this over and done. Maybe a month’s long vacation in Tahiti or someplace after they have banished evil for good.

We are ready to move forward into the New Earth. We want to clean up the mess and begin to rebuild society into a marvelous, abundant, happy and peaceful place. I can’t imagine anyone not wanting that. It is our transformation into the 5th Dimension. Notice that I wrote “begin to rebuild” and “transformation”. This is not a “won and done” situation. Like anything it is a process, and part of that process is cleaning up the shitpile inside of you. “You can’t take it with you” is very appropriate.

God and all the spiritual beings are helping you with this process. How many triggers have you encountered in this past year? Have you experienced the “Dark Night of the Soul”? Maybe more than once? Maybe you encountered health issues. Maybe around safety and security needs. Maybe your relationships became strained or even separated. Instead of going into victim mode, give thanks that your soul wounds are coming up for healing.

And maybe you thought you had already healed your “stuff”.

Think of your wounding as layers of an onion. The original trauma occurs and then as you grow older, layers build up each time you are in a situation that mimics the original wound. So healing happens in layers as you keep peeling back each one. I, too, thought I had “fixed” everything, but my relationship just hit a boil.

I have been in a romantic relationship for 13 years. I have been previously married. I am an Empath, and like most of us, put my needs last and attract narcissistic partners. Empaths often have childhood trauma of abandonment and unworthiness. I hate conflict and when things get bad, I leave. Early on in this relationship, there were some commitment issues but I thought they had been worked out. I overlooked some of the flaws, because overall, we got along well and had fun together. I shoved down my resentments of lack of support, and in typical Empath fashion, overcompensated by giving too much. I taught myself how to back down on that. I retired last year and he picked up more of the financial support, so I thought that was okay. I took on more of the household responsibilities thinking that evened it out. And then April arrived with all the “you know what” Thing. Just so you know, I am a researcher and truth seeker. I have been like that since I was a child. Being newly retired, I had ample time to dig in. And I did. And I learned far MORE than I ever could have imagined. Some of it horrific and almost unbelievable. (Cognitive Dissonance) And then I determined that I like Orange better than I liked Blue, but my partner absolutely hates Orange. I think you know what I am talking about.

I am not the type of person to push my opinions or beliefs on others. I will “test the waters” and see where you might stand on an issue. If it doesn’t resonate, I’ll let it go. No worries. If it does, then I’ll talk to you about it and share the information I have discovered. So I did that with him. That’s what you do in a relationship. Normally, if it doesn’t resonate you’ll get “I don’t agree, but I love you anyway”. Not so in this case. Name calling and shaming was what I got in return, to the point of being told that I was insane and that my opinion was wrong. He has distanced himself from me (within our house), and even wrote an email listing my supposed insane beliefs.

And that was my wake-up call from God. We all know that opinions are like a$$holes and sometimes they both stink. But they are just personal opinions and we have the right to have them, with the only exception of those that would cause deliberate harm to someone or self. Other than that, NO ONE gets to tell you what to think. I am not a parrot. This was a wake-up call to teach me to stop giving my inner being, my worth, my validation to someone else. That I am a Divine, Sovereign Child of God. That I am deserving of all of God’s gifts. That I have the right to be treated respectfully, with honor, and be in a supportive, loving, balanced relationship. That all my life I have attracted little-boy men who would have temper tantrums if I didn’t give in. Why? Because I never learned to love the little girl within me. That because she was unwanted, and had to serve penance in the form of not being a burden to them and letting them have what they missed out on. (as my mother so often reminded me)

W.T.F. I thought I had worked through all that. I did the inner child therapy and learned how to nurture myself. But what I have just realized is that – while all good – it was just another mechanism of self-sufficiency so someone else didn’t have to support my inner child. WOW. As I said, healing comes in many layers. So my spirit guides pretty much had to shove me to the wall and make me face my “teacher” in order for me to learn how to teach others how to treat me. So I have been doing a lot of praying and asking for guidance on this. I have to continuously fight my behavior pattern of leaving the situation as They have told me I’ll just keep going through this pattern until I stop and face it. (Read about dealing with narcissistic people for more info.)

Now he’s not a bad man, but he does have some level of narcissistic traits, and I have enabled him to run wild with that. Think eight-year old spoiled brat. I never had children so I lack the necessary skills of preventing this behavior. However, it’s never too late to learn.

So the point of this very soul-baring message is don’t ignore your triggers. They are God’s gift to help you see the Divine within you. You don’t need to carry your soul wounds around with you anymore. You are totally and completely worthy and deserving of everything. Welcome to the Ascension.